I call myself a missionary...and that's what people don't understand.

Sometime in our life, we wish to become "someone" whom everybody wants, whom everybody admires. But the fact of life is this: we will become someone we didn't expect us to be. Just like in my very own precious life. I never imagined myself being a preacher, standing in front of many people, giving them the encouragement they need for their spiritual life. But the day I was finally brought here, I told myself I will never be ashamed of where God had put me. 

Many people, especially those who closely know me, and those who expects a lot from me gives me a frown when they see me and ask, "Why?" In return, I also come to ask them, "Why?" What's wrong with my life? It as if they are all telling me that I made the wrong choice, that I've been in a wrong path. But honestly, my heart and my soul speaks up everytime and tells me, "this is what I want." 

I am blessed because my parents, my siblings, and my friends have understood me more than anyone else. Though there are times that questions cannot be avoided, I could feel their love by contantly reminding me at the end of the day that nothing changes. They still love me, they still treat me the way they treat me before, and I value that so much. That's why I also try to be equally human when I am with them, though I admit that being a preacher had changed a lot from me especially on how I see things. 

Many cannot understand me. They say I will not gain success in my chosen field, but I may say that I actually had acquired success on the time I chose to be what I am now. I don't understand myself either, but all I can say is...I can feel that this is what God wants me to be, and I know that I will never regret this. And well, I know that if God doesn't want me to serve Him this way anymore, He will put me on where He wants me to be, so I'm just waiting and enjoying the life he had given me for now. 

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Saint of the Day: St. Bonaventure

Bonaventure, Franciscan, theologian, doctor of the Church, was both learned and holy. Because of the spirit that filled him and his writings, he was at first called the Devout Doctor; but in more recent centuries he has been known as the Seraphic Doctor after the “Seraphic Father” Francis because of the truly Franciscan spirit he possessed.

Born in Bagnoregio, a town in central Italy, he was cured of a serious illness as a boy through the prayers of Francis of Assisi. Later, he studied the liberal arts in Paris. Inspired by Francis and the example of the friars, especially of his master in theology, Alexander of Hales, he entered the Franciscan Order, and became in turn a teacher of theology in the university. Chosen as minister general of the Order in 1257, he was God’s instrument in bringing it back to a deeper love of the way of St. Francis, both through the life of Francis which he wrote at the behest of the brothers and through other works which defended the Order or explained its ideals and way of life.

The morning of the fifteenth of July, 1274, in the midst of the Second Council of Lyons, Pope Gregory X and the Fathers of the Council were shocked to learn that toward dawn Brother Bonaventure, bishop of Albano, had sickened and died. An unknown chronicler provides his impression of the Franciscan cardinal: “A man of eminent learning and eloquence, and of outstanding holiness, he was known for his kindness, approachableness, gentleness and compassion. Full of virtue, he was beloved of God and man. At his funeral Mass that same day, many were in tears, for the Lord had granted him this grace, that whoever came to know him was forthwith drawn to a deep love of him.”

SOURCE: www.americancatholic.org

Saints of the Day: St. John Jones and St. John Wall

These two friars were martyred in England in the 16th and 17th centuries for refusing to deny their faith.

John Jones was Welsh. He was ordained a diocesan priest and was twice imprisoned for administering the sacraments before leaving England in 1590. He joined the Franciscans at the age of 60 and returned to England three years later while Queen Elizabeth I was at the height of her power. John ministered to Catholics in the English countryside until his imprisonment in 1596. He was condemned to be hanged, drawn and quartered. John was executed on July 12, 1598.

John Wall was born in England but was educated at the English College of Douai, Belgium. Ordained in Rome in 1648, he entered the Franciscans in Douai several years later. In 1656 he returned to work secretly in England.

In 1678 Titus Oates worked many English people into a frenzy over an alleged papal plot to murder the king and restore Catholicism in that country. In that year Catholics were legally excluded from Parliament, a law which was not repealed until 1829. John Wall was arrested and imprisoned in 1678 and was executed the following year.

John Jones and John Wall were canonized in 1970.

SOURCE: www.americancatholic.org

This photo shows exactly how hard it is to be a missionary. We are still typical human beings, capable of feeling bad about ourselves and everything happening in it. There are times when we wake up one morning and just feel like returning to bed again, forcing ourselves to go back to sleep, the fear of facing another day eats our whole being. But then, we realize that this is what we are meant to do, and this is more than a duty we ought to accomplish. So in spite of all the negativity that creeps into our whole system, we try to cover it up with a "happiness suit." In front of the people, we have to be strong, we have be the happy and no-worries human, we have to be the optimists. But the truth is, behind all the smiles, behind all the positive things that goes out of our mouth is "us" who feels really bad. I know this sounds hypocritical, but I would just like to emphasize that preachers are not superheroes as any other people expect us to be. We are not always in our good self. We are not always happy. We have problems too. We have our own difficult days. We too need encouragement. We too undergo serious dilemmas in our life. We need to breathe. But we have to set as a good example for everybody. We have to be strong for other people. We have to forget ourselves to make them feel relieved. And that's what I somewhat like by being a missionary. I could help people out in spite of all the damage I have in my own life. We are not hypocrites, we are typical people whom God entrusted the responsibility of facing people with delight, so as to help them realize there's more to life.