I'm having a tough night right now. It's late, and my parents are still out. When I was on my way home a while ago, my sister informed me that my parents are on their way to the hospital because something happened to my father's eye. I still do not know what exactly happened, and I'm still waiting. Just now, my father texted me that they're going home.... and I felt a bit of relief. I'm still praying for God's guidance as they travel home.
I am a missionary. I am responsible in delivering God's word and its corresponding reflection to extend the hope the Lord has given us to every people who hear. I should be the first one to have strong faith. But I admit that I still have fears. I fear about what might happen to my parents. I fear of losing anyone from my family. I fear that I wasn't capable enough to support their needs. I fear that I might choose to leave this vocation for better opportunities. I fear of losing my faith.
Just like Pope Francis, I am not good at dealing with pain. I've been through a lot of emotional challenges before, but when it comes to my family, I don't know what to do. These fears I have mentioned are the results of my human and realistic thinking. A while ago, I was exchanging messages with a colleague, and I'm sharing with her the hurt I've been feeling. I was really worried that I would not be able to pay or help my parents pay for whatever hospital bill they are up to. I Am worried for what might happen, and what would these instances would push me to do. Worry ate me up until all I can do is breakdown.
Thank God, I was able to see this photo from the internet. Thank God because He's telling me that He's got this. He's in-charge, He knows what to do. My only question is, why does my father have to suffer? He's a really good man, a man who never gets tired of serving God in his own ways. Why does he have to suffer an asthma attack last morning? Why does he have to feel pain in his eyes this evening? Why Lord? Why my father? Why does it have to be in my family? I remember once, a preacher said that God promised that the blessings of the Lord to the one who serves Him will be extended to his/her family. I have been serving Him with all my heart, but why does these things should happen?
I don't know how to answer myself right now, but I know God have many things to tell me through this situation. But I hope and pray that this would end up soon and good. I pray that my father will be the same, will be ok from head to toe. I pray that all the pain he's feeling right now would be taken away. I declare that my prayers are answered in Jesus' name. And I pray as well, that my faith will be intact whatever happens,
Lord, please protect my family. They are one of the most precious gifts you have entrusted to me. <3
