Dear God,

I know that things happen because You have a plan. Whatever Your plan may be, it will be done. But Lord, I am pleading to you, please heal my father's leg. Please let him be well. You told us Lord that You will always look upon us, that You are there especially when we need you. Please Lord, may You extend Your powerful hands over my father's body. Let your power heal whatever he's suffering into right now, and I declare by the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ, his strength is restored, and he will never again suffer from too much pain. Please Lord, I'm begging You. Give my parents more years to live, give them more strength Lord. And may You always be the center of our lives, so that when things like this try our faith, we will not fall into temptation of not holding on to Your promises. I believe in You Lord, all heart, mind, and soul. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

;)

The easiest gratifying route is always the way away from God. I have proven that myself. Whenever I look back at how I used to tell myself it's easier to sin than to follow Him, I'd simply laugh at myself and silently say, "I'll never be this happy if I chose to continue living the opposite way." 

I have this colleague who is undergoing a somewhat same experience as I had before. She told me that she wants to break free from committing the same sin, but she know in her heart that it is what will make her happy. Whenever she says that, I can't help but tell myself that she's exactly who I am before...torn, broken, and sick. But I know also that like me, she will be able to overcome the excruciating pain she's in right now, if she'll finally choose to hold on to God's promise and to obey His command. I was once this young in love girl who focuses on the wrong but happy part of my life. Now I understand. I can't get out of my sinful life before because I was too attracted to the happiness it brings me, which is, a  very good tactic that the evil ones use to tempt people to sin. For that reason, I can't also get out of the misery I'm in. And just like my dear colleague, I had once told God, "Don't You want me to be happy?" 

I thank God for inspiring me today. I would like to tell a story, a reflection that God has told me just now. This is my original story on how I describe my journey.

My life is a journey. As I was walking with God towards what God wants me to be, my attention was suddenly caught by a very attractive vehicle which offers a ride to happiness, the vehicle's name is sin. It was too enticing, knowing for a fact that walking to happiness (just how God instructed me) would be much slower than riding the vehicle to happiness, so I chased this car and ride on it. I enjoyed the ride so much, that I didn't notice I have already passed the happiness God has promised me. God's promise was only a couple of steps away, but I didn't know and I lost it. Nevertheless, I continued my journey, inside the car, enjoying the luxury it gives me. Meanwhile, I remembered my loved ones so I peered out the window and I saw every special person in my life, struggling to walk, but were one-by-one hit by the car I'm in as soon as the vehicle comes close to them. They did not die, but they're hurt. I know they are all hurt. But the happiness I'm experiencing is way more important to me than them. I know they can help themselves. I know God can help them get through the pain. And besides, they never know it's me inside the vehicle. They will never know I have put them in misery. As I was journeying in the vehicle, I noticed I was alone inside. I became sad. I felt the loneliness inside. In spite of the pleasure I'm experiencing, I know deep in my heart I have something missing. The journey continues, and I noticed that the vehicle is running out of gas. Eventually it became slower, the trip becoming as boring as ever. Then the vehicle eventually lost it's capacity to give the the enjoyment I used to like about it. Another day has passed, and I was left alone in the car, without gas, in the middle of a certain dark, nowhere place. I felt fear creeping in my heart and mind, and all I want is to get out of it. But I lost my way. I don't know where to go, what to do. As I was dealing with the solitude, I heard God's voice and He tells me, "I am giving you the chance to get out of that dark. Listen to Me. Leave that car and go back. Let us walk the path I am giving you and you will see what I promised you, the happiness like never before." Not thinking twice, I got out of the car's door and started the first steps of returning to my old track. But then as I was walking for like three steps already, I can't help but look back on the car. What if someone would pass me and saw the vehicle, and give me some gas to power up this car again? So I returned hoping this would happen. Another painful day in the darkness again has passed. I want to get out of it again, so I stood up and take the steps again. Then I turned back to the car and realized that not everyone is given the chance to have this kind of vehicle, that once I leave it there I may not have it ever again. So I returned and waited, holding on to the dead car of happiness. As the days passed and nothing happens, I asked God. "Don't You want me to be happy? Why don't you just power up this car with Your power just like how you give life to the dead and let me enjoy it again? Please help me get through this." When I woke up, I saw a man walking. I asked him where I could buy some gas for my car. The man told me that I should walk back to the route I've passed to get the gas. That means I'll have to leave my car. He offered to walk with me, but I asked him instead if he can buy it for me. He said, "This is your journey. I can walk you to the gas station but I cannot decide which gas will you need," He's right, so I just thanked him and insisted on staying. Another agonizing night has passed, and I told God again, "Don't You want me to be happy? What should I do?" Then God answered, "If you want to get out of darkness, get up. Walk back to the original path that I told you. I will always be on your side. I promise you it will be worth it." I've thought about what He said, and finally, i have decided to heed. I am hungry. I am lonely. I am not happy anymore, and that's because I'm still holding on the car that cannot function. So I've decided to step out and I saw God, extending His hands, not promising a smooth way but giving me that encouraging look that tells me everything will be ok. I cried. I told him how fearful I am, how ashamed I am that I did left him behind for something more convenient. He just hugged me and held my hand, and we started walking. There are times that I still try to glance on the car, but God always reminds me that if I won't stop looking back, I will never see what lies in front waiting for us. The walk is too long, I didn't know I made it that far. As days passes by, the walk becomes more and more tiresome, each step becomes unbearable. I asked God why don't He make a car for us so that the travelling will be less tiring. He replied, "You've gone too far my child, and I don't want you to miss the chance to see what you missed when you are in that car. Be patient. It will be worth it." After the rest, we continued walking, and as we walk I saw what He's talking about. A friend's birthday celebration, brother's return at home,Sunday mass with my parents, and discovering my unique capabilities. All this I missed during the ride. "But the good news is, you will be able to redeem those moments and do it again. I'm giving you that chance again," God said. As we continue the walk back, God has given me the chance to do all the things that I missed, and I realized that the walk isn't bad at all. But there are still times when I think about my car, and pain crushes me again inside, knowing that I will not have it ever. Suddenly, we passed through a gas station. We rested there and I was tempted to get the gas and return to my car. I did as I've thought and I walked again towards the path to my car while God is asleep (well, I that's what I think). But as I took the steps it becomes heavier, the road more rough than before. I suddenly slipped and scraped my knee as a result. It's harder, I realized, if I continue. Then I've though about my journey with God. The road is not smooth though, but I have God whom I can hold on to. But now I'm alone. So I've finally decided that I will never ever think about that car anymore. I returned to God and when He woke up, we continued walking hand in hand. Finally we reached out destination. God and I stopped in front of a beautiful gate I did not remember passing through before. When God opened the gate, I saw a brand new car, a car that is way more beautiful than what I had before. I cried, knowing that I missed this wonderful car only a few steps away, just because I got tired and impatient of God's promise to me. God spoke and said, "This is the real car to happiness. This is the promise that I have prepared for you. I will be your driver, all you need to do is sit back and relax. I will bring you to the road most of the people miss. I will bring you to the plan I have for you." 

Yes, when we are too focused on the sin that we are enjoying, it becomes too hard for us to go back on the right track. It's too painful to walk back if you're miles and miles away from your destination. Yes, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY. It will be tiresome. It will somewhat look like a burden. It will hurt. It will make us suffer. But God promises one thing. If we try to go back to His plan, IT'S GOING TO BE WORTH IT. We will finally see the right destination He has for us. Finally, after  being lost, we will be able to see what we are looking for.

I call myself a missionary...and that's what people don't understand.

Sometime in our life, we wish to become "someone" whom everybody wants, whom everybody admires. But the fact of life is this: we will become someone we didn't expect us to be. Just like in my very own precious life. I never imagined myself being a preacher, standing in front of many people, giving them the encouragement they need for their spiritual life. But the day I was finally brought here, I told myself I will never be ashamed of where God had put me. 

Many people, especially those who closely know me, and those who expects a lot from me gives me a frown when they see me and ask, "Why?" In return, I also come to ask them, "Why?" What's wrong with my life? It as if they are all telling me that I made the wrong choice, that I've been in a wrong path. But honestly, my heart and my soul speaks up everytime and tells me, "this is what I want." 

I am blessed because my parents, my siblings, and my friends have understood me more than anyone else. Though there are times that questions cannot be avoided, I could feel their love by contantly reminding me at the end of the day that nothing changes. They still love me, they still treat me the way they treat me before, and I value that so much. That's why I also try to be equally human when I am with them, though I admit that being a preacher had changed a lot from me especially on how I see things. 

Many cannot understand me. They say I will not gain success in my chosen field, but I may say that I actually had acquired success on the time I chose to be what I am now. I don't understand myself either, but all I can say is...I can feel that this is what God wants me to be, and I know that I will never regret this. And well, I know that if God doesn't want me to serve Him this way anymore, He will put me on where He wants me to be, so I'm just waiting and enjoying the life he had given me for now. 

1. 
   

Saint of the Day: St. Bonaventure

Bonaventure, Franciscan, theologian, doctor of the Church, was both learned and holy. Because of the spirit that filled him and his writings, he was at first called the Devout Doctor; but in more recent centuries he has been known as the Seraphic Doctor after the “Seraphic Father” Francis because of the truly Franciscan spirit he possessed.

Born in Bagnoregio, a town in central Italy, he was cured of a serious illness as a boy through the prayers of Francis of Assisi. Later, he studied the liberal arts in Paris. Inspired by Francis and the example of the friars, especially of his master in theology, Alexander of Hales, he entered the Franciscan Order, and became in turn a teacher of theology in the university. Chosen as minister general of the Order in 1257, he was God’s instrument in bringing it back to a deeper love of the way of St. Francis, both through the life of Francis which he wrote at the behest of the brothers and through other works which defended the Order or explained its ideals and way of life.

The morning of the fifteenth of July, 1274, in the midst of the Second Council of Lyons, Pope Gregory X and the Fathers of the Council were shocked to learn that toward dawn Brother Bonaventure, bishop of Albano, had sickened and died. An unknown chronicler provides his impression of the Franciscan cardinal: “A man of eminent learning and eloquence, and of outstanding holiness, he was known for his kindness, approachableness, gentleness and compassion. Full of virtue, he was beloved of God and man. At his funeral Mass that same day, many were in tears, for the Lord had granted him this grace, that whoever came to know him was forthwith drawn to a deep love of him.”

SOURCE: www.americancatholic.org

Saints of the Day: St. John Jones and St. John Wall

These two friars were martyred in England in the 16th and 17th centuries for refusing to deny their faith.

John Jones was Welsh. He was ordained a diocesan priest and was twice imprisoned for administering the sacraments before leaving England in 1590. He joined the Franciscans at the age of 60 and returned to England three years later while Queen Elizabeth I was at the height of her power. John ministered to Catholics in the English countryside until his imprisonment in 1596. He was condemned to be hanged, drawn and quartered. John was executed on July 12, 1598.

John Wall was born in England but was educated at the English College of Douai, Belgium. Ordained in Rome in 1648, he entered the Franciscans in Douai several years later. In 1656 he returned to work secretly in England.

In 1678 Titus Oates worked many English people into a frenzy over an alleged papal plot to murder the king and restore Catholicism in that country. In that year Catholics were legally excluded from Parliament, a law which was not repealed until 1829. John Wall was arrested and imprisoned in 1678 and was executed the following year.

John Jones and John Wall were canonized in 1970.

SOURCE: www.americancatholic.org

This photo shows exactly how hard it is to be a missionary. We are still typical human beings, capable of feeling bad about ourselves and everything happening in it. There are times when we wake up one morning and just feel like returning to bed again, forcing ourselves to go back to sleep, the fear of facing another day eats our whole being. But then, we realize that this is what we are meant to do, and this is more than a duty we ought to accomplish. So in spite of all the negativity that creeps into our whole system, we try to cover it up with a "happiness suit." In front of the people, we have to be strong, we have be the happy and no-worries human, we have to be the optimists. But the truth is, behind all the smiles, behind all the positive things that goes out of our mouth is "us" who feels really bad. I know this sounds hypocritical, but I would just like to emphasize that preachers are not superheroes as any other people expect us to be. We are not always in our good self. We are not always happy. We have problems too. We have our own difficult days. We too need encouragement. We too undergo serious dilemmas in our life. We need to breathe. But we have to set as a good example for everybody. We have to be strong for other people. We have to forget ourselves to make them feel relieved. And that's what I somewhat like by being a missionary. I could help people out in spite of all the damage I have in my own life. We are not hypocrites, we are typical people whom God entrusted the responsibility of facing people with delight, so as to help them realize there's more to life.